"Yes Madam, we have one in your size." Helen Lloyd reckons her funeral package will cost under $500.00.

Helen Lloyd likes to be organised, so organised in fact that simply keeping her day-to-day life ship-shape isn’t enough. She has taken to ensuring her exit from this world runs like clockwork too, and that it doesn’t cost the earth.

Yep, Helen’s planning her own funeral, right down to buying the coffin, organising transport to the crematorium, selecting an urn for her ashes, and mourners will even take away a CD of songs played at her farewell.

It’s not a real coffin, mind you. Practicality is another of Helen’s traits and there’s no way she’s handing over a heap of money for an expensive box and sundry services that she can organise herself.

So, it’s a kitset cupboard from her local MITRE 10 store priced at just $119 that will be housing Helen when she’s passed away.

Her coffin (also known in-store as a laundry or storage cupboard) measures 1810mm high, 395 mm deep and 410mm wide. “It’s a two-for-one deal too. I’m going to use it as a storage cupboard while I’m still around,” she says.

Several events inspired Helen to take the DIY burial option. Walking the dog one day, she fell over, hit her head, passed out and suffered concussion for several weeks.

“I kept wondering what would have happened if I’d died that day. Most of my children live overseas, and I wondered who would have organised my funeral.”

A few months later she read an article about a man who after discovering how much a funeral package would cost his financially strapped family (the most economical option he could find was $2800 including casket), he decided on a DIY departure, costing just a quarter of the price. 

And recently, several of Helen’s elderly friends have received calls from insurance companies enquiring whether they’ve made arrangements for the funeral and whether they have the funds to pay for it.

“I’ve seen the stress this causes these already vulnerable people and I vowed that’s one worry I’m not going to have in my twilight years.” 

However, the cupboard might need a few modifications for Helen’s final intended purpose. The helpful staff at Mitre 10 in Napier suggested the back might need strengthening, and also advised lining the joins with silicon.